"You Spoony Bard!"

What is Tellah actually saying when he yells that at Gilbart?

Anyone who's played Final Fantasy IV in North America knows the line "You Spoony Bard!" which Tellah delivers to Edward / Gilbart upon finding his daughter Anna dying in Damcyan after the Red Wings raid. It was part of the first original English translation of the game as Final Fantasy II for the SNES in 1991.

Many people think it's nonsense from a poor translation, however the phrase does have meaning, believe it or not! "Spoony" is actually a rather archaic term which could be used as an epithet, and appears to be more common in British English than in American English.

According to Funk & Wagnells Desk Standard English Dictionary published at the turn of the 20th century, the word Spoony is defined as such:

Spoony

I. a. Sentimental or silly, as in love-making. II. n. A foolish, demonstrative lover; sentimental simpleton.

It derives from the term Spoon...

Spoon

1. To be sentimentally in love. 2. To indulge in demonstrative love-making.

(...you know, in the context of "to spoon with your lover"?)

Therefore it does actually make sense, what Tellah was made to say by the localization team. He's angry that his daughter eloped with the bard. He's really calling him a sentimental simpleton feeling that their foolish tryst has brought about her death.

Not so silly any more is it? Well—o.k. yes it is, but at least it's not meaningless you spoony FF4 fan!

But what did Tellah actually say in Japanese?

Well, during the exchange Tellah refers to Gilbart using the term "kisama" which is apparently a pretty terrible way to refer to someone in Japanese. It seems to mean "you're nothing", and was at one time actually an honorific and then later used to refer to military "grunts".

Nowadays it's colloquial usage appears to be just extremely rude or dishonorable to refer to someone. It is apparently popular among young men to refer to boys below their status (think Senior Jocks calling out "Frosh" to shuddering Freshmen). This is typically how epithets work in the Japanese language (they don't normally curse with crude words and phrases describing bodily functions or suggestions of sexual perversion like we do).

Often times, to make the desired point, the term is translated into English with an appropriately vulgar reference to a person such as "you bastard" or "you son-of-a-bitch", this is likely why in the J2e Fan-Translation of the game's script the latter phrase was used. Obviously something like that wouldn't have remotely made it past the NOA censors in 1991 so the Translators waxed creative.